Cooking Concoctions: Honey Orange Pork Tenderloin

This month I have been taking all of my old magazines to work so I can scan them and then recycle them so I can clear up so space in my apartment, news flash i have more shit then space. While scanning one of my old men's health magazines I found a interesting recipe for pork tenderloin with orange juice it sounded crazy and delicious. so I just had to try it.

4 lbs of Pork Tenderloin
1/4 Cup of chicken broth
6 oz can frozen orange-juice
2 tbsp of rosemary
3 tbsp of olive oil
1/4 cup of honey
3 minced garlic cloves
black pepper
salt


combine all ingredients in a large freezer bag and let marinate for 5 hours.


Grill on Medium heat for twenty minuets turning regularly

served with some steamed with Italian dressing


turned out amazing and delicious

Wtf Hollywood: Battlefield America

At work yesterday I took a moment to look at the trailers for up and coming movies on the internets best movie site IMDB. After watching the Avengers Trailer for the umpteenth time I found a movie trailer that made me die a little inside.
The Movie, Battlefield America.... That title is awesome so full of promise and paints images of an action packed movie about the fight for survival in an American wasteland. The Tag line, "Where kids rule" this now says to me we have a fallout style lord of the flies which just screams awesome film, cause who would want to see a book of Eli meets Peter pan.
My dreams for this film were dashed as I watched the trailer. This film with an amazing title an foreshadowing tag line is actually about a bunch of "gangsta" eight year olds who break dance. What is that about!

The kids in this movie are early elementary school but they act like hardened gang bangers. It is infuriating to watch. At one point a kid with braces tells another kid that he is on his turf, you are 8 years old kid you don't have
"turf". It just looks beyond terrible!
Whoever came up with this story should have their head examined and if they are not declared mentally unstable then taken out back and taken care of the way old yeller was. Also whoever funded this terrible idea should have all their money taken away and given to me because I am a much better investment.

What if Wednesday: mythical beasts

The wonderful app on my phone gave me this very awesome what if question for this hump day. What if I could have a mythical beast as a pet, what mythical beast would it be? I thought on this for a bit before I busted out the good old D&D monster manual and started browsing through to find my new hypothetical pet.
I picked out my top 5 and give a brief summery as to my selection

1. Minotaur

How badass would it be if you could have a Mighty Minotaur guarding your house. I think it would be a sweet deal to have a brutish half man half bull and all around scary creature keeping burglers at bay. I can see it now the high wooden fence of my future house with a weather worn sign stating " beware of Minotaur "; and as a burgler in a black and white striped shirt and wool knit cap laghing as he leaps over the fence only to find himself face to face with a snorting bull head attached to the body of a fully muscled man.
Another upside is that all minotaurs come with a labyrinth right and who hasn't wanted a labyrinth.

2. Succubus

Now who hasn't wanted a sexy demon held captive by a belessed chain as a feature of their living room. This red skinned embodiment of sin would be the hit at every party with her awesome bat wings and sensual body.
Aside from parties this little vixen would also be quite a wonder to have during private time, if you catch my not so subtle drift.

3. Beholder

Straight from the famous monster of the D&D books comes the mighty and powerful Beholder. This multi-eyed creature would be awesome as a pet. What more could you want then a powerful magical beast who can float. And just think about all the awesome looks you would get if you were to walk down the street with this toothed beastie on a leash.

4. Chimaera

people are always saying that 2 heads are better then one well then four heads are freaking amazing. With the heads of a lion a ram and a dragon, the wings of a bat and a tail of a full snake the Chimaera is not only a furry pet but a scaly one too. Only downside I can for see is if the heads start fighting I don't think you could ever get them to stop.

5. Dragon

Every kid had a dream to show up to school atop a mighty dragon and who can blame them. To this day I still wish I could ride to work on a dragon, who needs to car pool when you can fly over the streets and rooftops to your destination. Let us not forget the fire breathing, together me and my dragon could burninate the countrysides and rule the world

If only I had pets like these... I can dream still.

Cooking concoctions: Burgerittos

I had a stroke of genius the other day while sitting around thinking of what recipes to cook today. I then had a sudden explosion of culinary creativity and decided to merge a burger with a burrito, thus Burgerittos.
So on Friday me Kenneth the third an Brudar hit the grocery store gathered our supplies and then hit the kitchen for a night of food science. Here is my recipe.

Burgerittos

1 egg
2 teaspoons water
1/4 cup of breadcrumbs
1 stick of celery
1 half red onion
2 teaspoons of sweet with heat
Salt
Pepper
Worcester sauce
1 lb ground beef
BBQ sauce


In a bowel mix the egg and water together, add bread crumbs, hot and sweet sauce, salt, Worcester and pepper.

Mix in beef



Roll into 4 meat logs and grill with BBQ sauce

Once grilled add to cheese and condiments

We decided for a more Mexican flair to use sour cream and salsa as our condiments. Let me just say these deliver on taste and one is very filling.

Not the fairest of them all

I love to watch movie trailers, very rarely do I actually see films in theaters but I always watch the trailers of up and coming films. So I was on the Internet movie data base yesterday and I saw the trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman. The trailer did what all good trailers do, it made me want to watch the film. Now the reason I find this to be unsettling is because the movie does look beyond epic but the beautiful and strong female role model is being played by non other then the emotionless female star of the terrible twilight films, Kristen Stewart.
To be honest it is just disheartening that an actress with little to no acting abilities can make it as an actress in Hollywood, the girl looks like she is a perpetually confused stoner who is in dire need sleep. At the begging of the trailer I was rolling my eyes thinking great here we go the terrible typecast Kristen Stewart being a damsel in dire distress needs a big gruff man to come to her rescue, oh the limitless imagination spewing out of good old Hollywood. Then things changed, epic battles were to be had, and low and behold the greatest Mary Sue of all time tied her hair back in to some braids adorned some heavy armor a long sword and a large metal shield, and prepared to fight.

I saw her in the video and I was struck with this strange feeling that she looked freakishly familiar, I was pondering it and then it dawned on me. Vaako from one of my favorite movies the Chronicles of Riddick looks exactly like Kristen Stewart when she is battle ready in this preview. It made me laugh thinking about how they put the utterly stone faced Kristen Stewart into such a strong female role that would be semi demanding of some sort of emotional acting skill.

It reminds me of the whole Kira Knightly phenomenon, putting such a weak and terrible actress into situations in which she drags down a film. If you don't understand what I am talking about think about how much better off the Pirates of the Caribbean would have been if there was a strong female.
Now don't get me wrong this movie looks like it might actually be good but i am jaded because one to many times my hopes have not been met. To sum everything up here is picture of a lost and dumbstruck Stewart in the middle of a medieval battle field looking like she does not belong.

crit 20 to life

So I was patrolling the Internet using my favorite search engine google, I had googled D&D and on the 7th or 8th page I saw an article from the fox news website. So me being a curious little D&D monkey I did a double click to discover what America's most conservative news station had to say about one of my most enjoyed pastimes. Low and behold to my astonishment I discovered that it was an article from over a year ago on a court ruling that had happened two years before that.
So three years ago a tribunal of three judges came together and under a consensus decided to ban the popular role playing game from the nations prisons. Now if prison itself wasn't a deterrent from crime now with this knowledge that I could not game in jail I am going to make sure I keep my nose clean and stick to the law.

My first thought to this was why the hell would a game be banned from jail that seems stupid so I continued my research to find out more. The reasoning that the judges gave for the decision is that the game promotes gang mentalities, because there is one leader and a group of people who follow him. When I found that out my jaw dropped and I began laughing hysterically until I realized I was alone and laughing like I was crazy. To sum up the judges think that a DM is essentially a gang leader and know my DM's I think they think that is true too.
While doing my research into this matter I found out that it had been brought to the guards attention because an inmate sent in an anonymous letter to the guards, what a nark, saying that the players were acting like a cult and trying to find new members. I don't know about any one else but for a while it was hard to find some one willing to be an acting healer and the people who I game with ate always talking about how awesome it is. Hell even I know I have said everyone should play some sort of role-playing game.
Back to the subject at hand after the ruling came down the guards swooped in and took all the source material in sight as well as all hand written notes, character sheets and battle maps. That really sucks and for anyone that games you know with out the sheets we are all at a loss.
All in all I wonder how many people wanted to be rouges who actually got away with the crime.


Read more at http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/01/26/dungeons-dragons-threatens-prison-security-court-rules/

How to survive a zombie apocalypse: guns

So during all the zombie movies I have watched with friends I find myself yelling at the screen a lot tell characters who cannot hear me just how stupid they really are for going into those stupid situations. So I sat down with my friend Mr. Devo and had a discussion about what you would need to survive a zombie apocalypse and how we would do it. So I decided to make this a weekly segment here on my blog where I ether find a useful survival item or fun tips for surviving.
Now to get to know me a little I don't think guns will help you in a zombie apocalypse setting. Why? Well there are multiple cons an very few pros to the use of guns. The pro if you are skilled with a gun or about to be over run the gun is quick and really useful. Otherwise the gun has two major cons stacked against it. First ammunition this will be in a very limited supply and if you plan on survival you are not always guaranteed that you will find ammo that is compatible with your weapon. Second problem with ammo is if you carry to much of it you will get weighed down. Now the Second con against guns is noise, if you have a nice hand cannon be aware that every shot you use to take down a limb dragger will draw at least six more to your location.
So let me sum this up for you guns are a bad call to use for surviving a zombie apocalypse. It is best to stick to melee style weapons weather they are actual weapons or just something grabbed to bludgeon in the sculls of corpses. I will explain my weapon of choice next week until then TTFN

co-op saturdays: Borderlands Part 1

Let me start today off by wishing everyone a happy St. Patties Day and I hope all of you are wearing green to avoid the pinching. Today I am wearing a flogging Molly t-shirt with a green logo so I am untouchable.
It is Saturday so it is time to bust out the game controllers sit down with some Cheetos and Ice Tea Cool and have a good old gameathon. Now Boarderlands two is coming out in September and I decided that I should finally play through the first one. I have been wanting to play through this game for quite some time. So i called my Brudar and asked him to bring over his copy. Then me and Brudar sat and started a new file me playing as the hunter and he as the the solider.

We played for a couple hours not really getting past the first area. After sitting for so long our legs started to get antsy and our junk food rations began to dwindle. We decided to put our controllers down and called Mr. Devo and went to rehash our childhoods and went and ran around some playgrounds around our area. Then we parted ways he went home to get ready for St. Patties Day and we went to every bodies favorite convince store seven eleven to restock.
Upon returning home we discovered that my character had saved but Brudar's had not. After much grrring he restarted as Lilth and we restarted a file from the beginning for a second time in the day.
If there is just one thing I have to say about this game is the graphics are awesome. The cell shading gives this game such a great atmosphere I think if they had gone any other direction with this game it would be no where near as fun.
Now let's take a moment to talk about those guns... Why the hell does my shot gun have a scope better then the range of the gun. The guns and gun types of this game remind me of the old ratchet and clank games in their bright colours and incredibly strange functions. The only difference between Borderlands and Ratchet and Clank is that in Borderlands shit blows up and blood and guts erupt from skags when you blast them to smithereens. Brudar found a scattergun that's bullets do a neon blue wave pattern upon being fired and only stop once they collide with something.
Strange yet fun game and I cannot wait to play more with Brudar on next Saturday. Look for part Two next week.

What if Wednsday: if I were a cartoon character

So I have a phone app that gives me random what if questions, now I thought it would be fun to write about these and go into some serious thought. So for each what if I will pick my top five answers and try to explain my reasoning behind each answer.
This week the question was, if I could be any cartoon character who would I be?

1. Ash Ketchum from Pokemon



Why him he is such a loser? You may find yourself asking and my answer for you is I could do it better. I know compared to ash every trainer ever even Joey with his top percentile ratatta looks like they are the champion of the Pokemon league. Ash doesn't know how lucky he is to live in a world full of adventure and where hard work and determination will yield powerful beasts that you can control. If Ash ever applied himself properly he could find himself crossing the globe on the back of a powerful dragonite or surfing the seas on a mighty blastoise or perhaps charging across the plains on the back of a tarus ( he has 30 of them what a freaking waste ).
Now I know it begs the question of what Pokemon would I use? Not sure right now but obviously I would have Pikachu because he was Ash's starter and therefore would be mine too



2. Donatello from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles



Ok so I know that most people hated Donnie when I was a kid but I thought he was awesome. See he was the only turtle who was a ninja and more, think about it he built all of the turtle tech that helped them out of garbage he found littered about the sewers.
He had a slew of useful technical skills, which is way more than any of his brothers could do. On top of his technical skills he was also filled with all the useful information that was always relevant to what ever trouble the turtles found themselves in. He was also the more docile of the brothers with a weapon that takes more skill to wield properly and is only used for submission not for the dealing of death.

3. Aang from Avatar the last Airbender



Bad ass body tattoos...check
Sweet flying bison...check
Crazy lemur companion...check
Power to control all the elements ummm yes please
Ok so being the last of your kind is depressing as well as being hunted by those who committed the genocide against your people is not really that much of a good thing. Let's look at that as being a slight cost to pay for unlimited power. What would I do with such power? The fun would never stop I am telling you

4. Nightcrawler from X-men



Oh man Nightcrawler is so awesome I don't know where to begin on this one so let me start with the obvious. Teleportation, how often have you just wanted to poof away to some where far away from what you are currently having to deal with. How many times have you forgotten something at home and just wanted to teleport home and grab it.
Second reason is he has a wicked prehensile demon tail. When two hands are just not enough you got your ass covered literally with a third appendage.

5. Matt Ishida from Digimon



He was way better then Tai and had a much cooler Digimon, Gabumon, a reptile with a unicorn pelt who turned into a wolf then a werewolf and when provoked became a mecha wolf. Also in the show he was a way better leader then Tai because he thought of what consciences would become their actions instead of rushing into things all bull headed.

So tune in next week for what if I had to get stuck in an elevator with someone who would it be (real life people)?

Everyone wants to be a hero

So I was asked to do a very interesting favor yesterday by my mother. She inquired as to wether or not I could get some friends to help one of her co-workers move on Sunday, that is not the interesting part the reason why is, we are flash mob style moving some one out of her house... Say what? Oh and it gets even more interesting we are doing it at request of the person we are moving why? Because she is escaping an abusive relationship and is scared of what might happen and well I can't blame her.
So after grilling my mom for more useful information, which was like pulling teeth trying to give some kind of idea what we are up against. I discovered he is of average build, which works to my advantage of being bigger and more intimidating build. Now the second thing I found out is the guy is a gun collector, ok now that is a little worrisome. I won't back down now cause last thing I want is for things to go bad knowing I could have prevented it.
So this morning I looked up the non-emergency police line on everyone's favorite search engine google an I called to find out if this is the right thing to do. Which in my heart and in the eyes of the law yes it is so I am not going to jail this weekend score! I also found out I can call the lovely Calgary police and have them present just in case the proverbial shit hits the fan.
This just goes to show that we can all be heroes just by reaching out and following the principles of Jim Carrey in Yes Man. Just say yes and watch all the places you will go, and look at all the people you will meet!
So this Sunday won't be just any other family outing this one is so super special the cops are getting involved. Oh what an strange and eventful life I lead, I wouldn't change it for the world!

Enter the fifth

So the Internet is all a buzz with elitist geeks raving about how bad wizards of the coast's fifth edition of d&d will be. That's right nerds are discrediting something that doesn't even exist yet. Yes we know that 3.5 was fantastic hell I play it every week if I can help it.
However not only has Wizards approached actual players to field test the games, and used said feedback to improve upon the game but let us face facts how could you screw up worse than 4th. So I am very excited to give the fifth a good old run for it's money and if it turns out to be a dud well then then it will be a gaming one night stand.
So let us all look at D&D fifth as what it is, the company's putting money into the products and making more miniatures for us to run out and shell out cash for. Well let's face it even if by some crazy turn of events the fifth does in fact suck then at least there will be new minis for us to get our grubby little paws on. Think about it even tho the fourth edition really sucked all the challenge and imagination out of a game based around challenge and imagination we still all went out and bought the dungeon tiles and miniatures and hell I have even converted a few of the campaign books to function with third edition.
So let's all go into this with an open mind and if we see any power cards we all know to cut our loses and get the hell out of there to avoid any future embarrassment.

Warriors assemble!

So what's new with you?

The question that we all get asked or ask ourselves when we run into someone we haven't seen in a while. Most of the time we opt to say "nothing" and then there is that awkward silence before you revert to talking about the weather for the third time in the conversation. This happens to me all the time, perhaps it is because I didn't move to far from where I grew up but non the less it is frustrating.

So then what's new with me????

Well I am training 6 days a week to get into a shape that isn't round.

And why am I training so hard?

Well aside from the endorphins and thanks to legally blond we all know that "Exercise gives you endorphins Endorphins make you happy Happy people just dont shoot their husbands" . There is the reason the I am getting married in August and want to look awesome when I am dressed to the nines. But the primary reason is that come September me and my favorite ginger are competing in THE WARRIOR DASH!!!

Here is the link to check it out
http://warriordash.com/

This is the video I saw that made me stop and say "I need to do this!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyDdMViZ3tk&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Now if you have to ask why is this cool you obviously don't understand how much of an accomplishment this for me. For starters for the past two years I have been on a slippery slope as I not only gained the freshman fifteen but I doubled or nothing not once but twice, and then proceeded to become a smoker with asthma. So as of right now this is a challenge that requires dedication.

So how do I plan on achieving my goal of completing this five kilometer obstacle corse?

1. Loose weight, through the help of my friend Jessica over at Jenny Craig I have already dropped 25lbs of my goal 70 so well on my way

2. Rebuild muscular mass, with the use of Tony Horton's P90X I am using precision exercises to build my muscles up.

3. Build endurance, by running intervals I am reshaping my lungs to shake my asthma and to try and reverse the effects of smoking for a couple years

4. Eat well, so Jenny I teaching me portion control but nothing beats good old home style cooking. And one thing I want to do is be able to cook well for my future wife.

So I am well down the path three months into my lifestyle change and I will overcome all future obstacles.

Transcending media

So I am a huge x-men geek I started watching the cartoon when I was a kid in the 90's and it was nerd love at first sight. Nowadays I still love watching the old cartoon with my brother and laughing how great and yet how terrible it is.
I do not consider myself an elitist geek about X-men, I embrace the movies and own all of them no matter how many continuity errors there are. However considering how much back story and cannon there would need to be explained, and the limited time that Hollywood has to hold the fans attention they did quite well. One of the many pluses to this is that it brought new fans to the fold and thus brought new money to the franchise.
Now with that in mind it got me thinking that there is one media that as of recently has sweeping success and is heavily promoted by almost everyone,..........

NOVELS!!!.

I am not talking about their graphic novels because those are plentiful and well received by the nerd masses. I am talking about the written word, books with out the images but in their absence mass amounts of descriptive words.
And so I thought some more...
Then I had an epiphany, the most popular and wide spread of books right now is the teen novel. Primarily the ones focused around extraordinary teens who are trying to find their way in the world while combating monstrous evil villains in control of army's the likes of which would make a trained navy seal wet his knickers. And what is the X-men? Well they are a group of extraordinary teenagers trying to find their place in the world all whilst trying to defend the planet from those who wish to destroy it...

PERFECT!!!

Now to top it all off all through out the X-men series there have been relationships that have a rocky time such as gambit falling for rouge even tho he cannot touch her, the impenetrable man (Colossus) and the girl who can walk through anything (Shadowcat aka Kitty Pryde) is fantastic or even Polaris daughter of Magneto falling in love with Bobby Drake aka Iceman you can't get a better Romeo and Juliet story.
Now myself I could probably never be able to write something like this but if this ever came to be you can bet your bottom dollar I would read it and sing it's praise. That's a big if but in that situation all I can say is Harry Potter watch yourself because this could be the end of you and all of Hogwarts!

The weekday woes

So my weekend was filled with many arts and crafts, not your kiddy arts and crafts mind you! These arts and craft hand nails and screws, hacksaws and hammers the requirement of a heavy duty breathing apparatus. I felt like I was a mad scientist creating the unthinkable laughing maniacally as I added piece after piece to my spectacular master piece.
Granted I am painfully aware that I am merely making props but non the less a man can dream of creating a rocket pack over his weekend just for fun. In many ways my weekend feels like one of those movie montages where the protagonist aka me build some crazy Rube Goldberg Machine to stop the antagonist, which I don't have any at this time. But alas Monday strikes and once again the frivolous fancies of the weekend come to a crashing halt as reality once again resumes it's unmistakably draining coarse. I sit at my familiar chair managing electronic documents dreaming of the weekend past and the weekends yet to come
Now what was I building you may inquire well me and my lovely bride to be, my future wifey, the Bonnie to my Clyde are mutually working towards the finale of our massive steampunk group costume. So for all those steampunks and cosplayers out there you know that any good costume takes a lot of work to pull off the paint must be applied in layers, the glue must be left to dry the parts must be tracked down and acquired at numerous specialty shops the work of a cosplayer is never done until the last possible second. It also does not help when I am not only working on my costume but also the props for others.